Century 2009: Precious

Precious. Lee Daniels. 2009.

Hey, I bought this one twice.

Even if it won a couple of Oscars it’s not that bad! But the American convention of having adult actors playing teenagers is so weird. For the first few minutes I wondered why a woman in her mid-20s was attending junior high, but then (helpfully) she was called into the principal’s office who as-you-know-bob-ed her on her age (which was supposed to be 16) and I went oh.

The performances are fine, but it’s got some structural problems. Is it going to go all Dangerous Minds on us? What’s the timeline here? Has an hour passed or half a year? Why is Precious suddenly so erudite? What’s going on? Why are all these things happening to Precious? Why is the mother suddenly spilling the beans?

I liked the fantasy/reality thing, but I totally thought the last third of the film was entirely fantasy, with other fantasies embedded. Perhaps I was over-thinking it.

It’s a bit much.

This blog post is part of the Century series.

Concert Diary: Rockefeller

Dear concert diary.

Today I went to a Slowdive concert, mostly because Lost Girls were the opening act.

They were great, and so were Slowdive, but the experience was somewhat marred by the odour of the venue.

Rockefeller is the foundational concert venue in Oslo.

t’s always been somewhat whiffy: If you don’t stand in the middle of the floor, you’ll experience the olfactory delights of a beer-drenched carped that’s never been cleaned the last few decades (see picture above for why this happens: The venue shovels all “empty” beer glasses from the hardwood floor in front of the stage onto the carpeted wings before collecting the glasses).

But, dear diary, today was a brand new experience.

It’s been a few very warm weeks in Oslo, no doubt due to random weather fluctuations and not climate change at all.  But the stench that met us when we entered the venue was of a different kind than any we’ve experienced before.

Instead of the normal yeasty bouquet we’re used to, the non-hardwood parts of the Rockefeller venue smelled like a well-aged mixture of stale ale and diseased piss.

The urinal overtones of the venue were so overpowering that I almost tossed my cookies.  I was only able to hold on to the contents of my stomach by standing in the front of the stage, even though I am very tall and that, sensibly, annoys all people of normal height.

If only somebody, somewhere, perhaps the owners of the Rockefeller venue, would hire somebody to clean the carpet in the back of the venue, people would get less nauseated when visiting the place.

Dear diary, one can only dream.

Oslo, July 18th, 2018.

Century 2008: The Smiths: The Queen is Dead

The Smiths: The Queen is Dead. Derek Jarman. 2008.

What’s this then? Oh, it’s an “unauthorised” documentary about The Smiths focusing on The Queen is Dead.

I’ve seen a couple of these before. They’re made on the cheap… But this does actually have The Smith’s songs, so it’s not as no-budget as some of the others.

And, of course, nobody from the band appears (except Craig Gannon), and instead it’s a bunch of journalists, producers and other musicians talking about The Smiths.

The most interesting bits here is where the producer (Stephen Street) talks, I think. And Tony Wilson drops some fact bombs on money matters: If Morrissey hadn’t signed with Rough Trade, the entire 80s indie scene wouldn’t have happened in the UK, because the money just wasn’t there otherwise.

But it’s quite nerdy, and I like that. Especially the guitarist guy who explains what Johnny Marr was doing.

Your mileage may vary. If The Smiths didn’t destroy your teenage years, you may find this painfully boring.

This blog post is part of the Century series.

Century 2007: What Would Jesus Buy?

What Would Jesus Buy?. Rob VanAlkemade. 2007.

Whaaa. It’s a documentary by that Supersize Me guy? Why did I buy this? I hate modern American documentaries: They’re snippet, snippet, snippet with some officious deep male voice telling you how outrageous everything is.

Or… Oh, it isn’t. It’s a mocumentary? Well, that makes more sense. I mean, for me to have bought this DVD.

So it’s a… fake group of evangelicals? That tour around the US trying to convince people to shop less?

It’s tedious. And they often use slightly fish-eyed lenses making everybody look weird.

But there are some entertaining scenes. And the scene with the girls who tried to determine where their clothes were made was quite affecting. And exorcising Walmart was great.

So: the first 45 minutes are unnecessary, but it gets better.

This blog post is part of the Century series.