Android Is Still Fucking Useless

I’ve been trying to use Android (instead of a Linux laptop) for various things lately, because some Android devices have a pretty nice form factor, and I don’t really need a keyboard for all things.  But time and time again, I find that the apps that are available on Android just aren’t good enough.  They are at the “will this do?” level: They almost basically do what they’re supposed to, but they have no polish and are REALLY ANNOYING.

Take watching films and stuff.

For about a month, I’ve been trying to use a Galaxy View as my “moving around the house and tidying stuff up” device. You know, I drag it around while watching Saturday Night Live, basically.

This is what it looks like. It’s an 18 inch huge “tablet” that I carry around while doing chores.

My previous device here was a Linux laptop, but it had a kinda small screen and there’s a keyboard I don’t need and you know, I thought that surely the Android ecology would have progressed beyond my simple sshfs + mplayer setup.

So: I got a Samsung Galaxy View, and it’s pretty nice. The screen is all reflective and stuff, but very clear. And I get the recommended apps, which is the “FX” file browser and “MX Player Pro” for watching films.

(Very X.)

And it all kinda sorta works. When deleting files in “MX”, you go through this:

Yes, that’s a long hold to get the menu, then press “Delete”, and then check off the checkbox and then press “delete”. If you think that’s ridiculous as a default, then there’s a setting for fixing this, so you just hold “long”, then press “delete”, and then press “delete”. Yes! The “dangerous” setting makes the checkbox in-between the “delete” and the “delete” go away!

ANYWAY!

I could live with all this nonsense, but when playing from sftp, MX Player would not recall where I had left off when playing the last time.

The audio/visual sync in MX player would also require manual adjustment up to about a minute to get in sync.

AND! In addition, FX would drop connections after being inactive for a few minutes, meaning that after pausing for some minutes in MX, I would have to exit, go to the menu in FX and press “reload”, and then find the file again, and then go to where I left off.

STILL!

This wasn’t enough to make me abandon the setup.

It’s like Stockholm syndrome, but for gadgets.

The breaking point came tonight, when I was watching Saturday Night Live (making fun of Trump, as usual).

It didn’t manage to decode the video fast enough, so everything lagged and stuttered and general sadness.

It’s like every app took the hint from Google Central and thought:  “Will this do?”  Then clicked on “publish”.

So I’m back to my six year old Linux laptop:

That has exactly none of these problems. No audio/visual sync things, no reconnecting over sftp, no lags.

Android app people: This is sad.

Sad.

WFC Yemen: A New Day In Old Sana’a

This movie is fun.

Some of the performances are kinda stylised, but when you’re delivering your lines from behind a veil, you have to go big or you don’t deliver the lines at all.

This is a romantic comedy with mistaken identities and all kind of complications and it’s really funny. I love the actors, especially the er Greek choir (Yemenese choir?) of the three women gossiping on the streets. Well, all the women actors are wonderful, really.

It’s got some pacing problems, though, and then ending is kinda dreary.

A New Day In Old Sana’a. Bader Ben Hirsi. 2005. Yemen.

Yemen fizz

  • red grapes
  • 3 parts gin
  • 2 parts crème de cassis
  • 28 parts champagne

Muddle the grapes. Add the gin and the crème de cassis and shake with ice. Strain into a champagne glass and top up with champagne. Garnish with floating small red grape.

This post is part of the World of Films and Cocktails series. Explore the map.

WFC Moldova: Mama Illegal

Another documentary!

And this is perhaps more Austrian than Moldovan? But it’s from Moldova, so…

Anyway, this documentary is about Moldovan women who go to work in Europe (illegally, since Moldova isn’t part of the EU). Parts of it are kinda strange (as if the director had a murky agenda (like the extended scenes of children pining for their mothers)), but it’s an interesting film.

Engaging cinematography, too.

Mama Illegal. Ed Moschitz. 2011. Moldova.

Eggnog Rum Cocktail

  • 2 parts vodka
  • 2 parts rum
  • 1 part cream
  • 1 part eggnog

Shake with ice and strain into an ice-filled glass.

This recipe is a bit confusing, since eggnog traditionally already contains plenty of booze. So I made this recipe, but without the alcohol and then mixed according to the recipe above.

It’s a ridiculous alcohol/nog ratio.

This post is part of the World of Films and Cocktails series. Explore the map.

WFC Marshall Islands: Ña noniep

This is a very, very low budget film, but even so, there’s no reason for it being this bad. The people involved probably had fun making it (I hope), and I’m sorry for harshing this much here, but:

I am the Good Fairy. Jack Niedenthal. 2009. Marshall Islands.

Marshall Island Swizzle

  • 4 parts dark rum
  • 1 part ginger syrup
  • 1 part honey syrup
  • 2 parts lime juice
  • a dash of Angostura bitters

Pour into a glass and stir with ice until cold. Add a straw.

This post is part of the World of Films and Cocktails series. Explore the map.

WFC Sierra Leone: Brownstones to Red Dirt

Oops. It a documentary (for children?), and it’s really more American than Sierra Leonish. (Is that a word?)

Sorry!

It’s packed with cheesy music and it’s chock full of snips of Things Kids Say. I mean, the kids are great and stuff, but the film is kind of pedestrian.

Brownstones to Red Dirt. Dave LaMattina. 2010. Sierra Leone.

Guava Ginger Zinger Cocktail

  • 1 part vodka
  • 2 parts guava juice
  • 2 parts ginger beer
  • a dash of lime juice

Pour into an ice-filled glass and stir. Top up with the ginger beer.

This guava looks (and tastes) quite different from the previous ones. The mixture of guava and ginger beer is odd, but not unpleasant.

This post is part of the World of Films and Cocktails series. Explore the map.