TSP2019: Uncut Gems

Uncut Gems. Josh Safdie and Benny Safdie. 2019.

[twenty minutes pass]

Oh deer.

This is the Adam Sandler Oscar bait movie? To ensure getting nominated, you have to have some sort of health angle, so it starts with a colonoscopy (it is Sandler, after all) and some possible cancer, before we go into full-bore New Era of Quality TV doing Death of a Salesman (which means that everybody is from New Jersey and that all these morons are shouting at each other ALL THE TIME).

If you were to design a movie to annoy me, this would be that movie.

I don’t recalling it actually winning any Oscars, though…

But it did win a bunch of other awards — perhaps the Independent Spirit Awards are the most significant…

Well, perhaps it gets less annoying…


Well, re-roll the movie…

[ten minutes pass]

I wondered when they were going to introduce the bitchy wife. I should have made a bet.

[twenty minutes pass]

I can’t take any more of this. One hour of watching uninteresting morons shout at each other is all I can take. I’d rather get my teeth cleaned.

Is this the only movie in this blog series that has broken me? I think it may be. And apparently I’m not missing much of a performance:

This post is part of The Tilda Swinton Project.

4 thoughts on “TSP2019: Uncut Gems”

    1. She apparently does a voice part during the auction scene (which comes after I stopped watching).

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