NFLX2019 March 13th: Triple Frontier

Triple Frontier. J.C. Chandor. 2019. ☆☆★★★★

Oh deer. You’ve seen this movie a gazillion times before: Cool military guys doing cool military things with a roaming, restless camera (steadycam and helicopter footage). Every single shot is a cliché and there’s metal music to underscore how cool it all is.

I mean: War is hell. That’s what this is about. Yeah. That’s the ticket. That’s how you get to shoot all the cool scenes.

Heh heh:

Gets a little credit for not being quite as troop porny as these kinds of movies usually are.

This is basically a heist movie, so we go through all the usual plot points: First we gather the gang of people (who were out of the game, of course, but one single more heist I mean adventure), and then the build-up, and then (I’m assuming, I typing as I watch) it all goes belly up for an ending with the proper gravitas and everything is going to be so deep, man.

Let’s see… is there anything about this movie I don’t find offensively boring? Hm… the cinematography sucks… the actors do their macho thing… the footage has been colour-coordinated to a grey/teal/green tedium… the audio is murky: even pumping the volume up to 11 I can only make out about two thirds of the lines… the soundtrack consists of things that sound quite like metal and or country tracks but is like totally bad (perhaps from the Now That’s What I Call Metal & Country Non-Hits vol IV… it’s about fourteen hours too long for its plot (which is moronic)…

OK, the costume department is OK? The actors wear clothes that seem plausible for the characters?

I think that’s all I’m coming up with here.

*time passes*

After the first nine hours of exposition where I literally died from boredom (this is the ghost typing), and the (stupid stupid) heist starts… there are scenes in there that aren’t totally tedious.

But, OK, it’s probably just me. If they had purposefully designed a movie to annoy me, this would be that movie. If you like this sort of movie, I think it’s quite likely that you’d like this movie.

This post is part of the NFLX2019 blog series.

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