ACW1998: Vampires

“My vampires are savage creatures. There isn’t a second of brooding loneliness in their existence. They’re too busy ripping and tearing humans apart.”

Right…

John Carpenter. Vampires. 1998.

Ah! A vampire film where the vampires are the bad guys! It’s been a long time since I’ve seen one of those…

This is the goriest Carpenter film so far. I guess there’s been a general escalation all the way from Halloween, which was really kinda not gory at all.

It’s not a very good movie or much fun to watch. It’s just so… stupid, and has plenty of moronic fan service scenes.

It goes so hard for wise guy DUDE-ness that I had to gaffa tape my eyeballs to keep them from falling out from all the eye rolling. I think they’re kinda going for Snake Plisskin, but Woods overshoots and lands up somewhere past Charles Bronson.

The wittiest line is probably when a female vampire is killed (with a stake) and one of our heroes says “How do you like your steak… bitch!” Now, that’s snappy repartee.

But this was apparently this first Carpenter film in a decade that didn’t completely bomb at the box office, so it connected with some people, I guess.

This post is part of the A Carpenter Winter series.

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