TSP2022: Three Thousand Years of Longing

Oh, does MGM still exist?

So aspect-to-aspect editing.

Who’s the main character!?

Hm… is this based on a comic book, by any chance? It feels very comic bookey so far.


Written by Miller and Augusta Gore, it is based on the short story “The Djinn in the Nightingale’s Eye” by A. S. Byatt

And now there’s super-hero references!

Papyrus!!! Dude!

I’m not sure where this is going, and that’s fun. I’m not even sure whether this is supposed to be a knee-slapping broad comedy (in which case it doesn’t quite work) or a deep philosophical thingie (in which case it doesn’t work)… Perhaps it’s a rom-com?

Well, OK, here’s the thing: I know that many (most?) people like fairy tales and stuff. But I just don’t. Whenever things get fairytalish, I just grow impatient. And this seems like it’s going to be mostly about the two characters (played by Tilda Swinton and Idris Alba) telling each other stories. And the shots go all fairytailish, like this bottle of ink portentously being spilled over these sheets of paper.

And I think Miller is basically achieving what he’s setting out to do with these shots, but I’m just sitting here going “gurl, please”.

So I’m not really the ideal audience for this movie.

I’m so bored by this movie that I went to Rottentomatoes and saw what people had to say. One reviewer says that Swinton and Alba has no chemistry? Hm… I’m not sure that’s accurate. They’re fine. The problem lies with those interminable stories the Djinn tells. They’re not exciting or funny or, well, anything. They’re just tedious.

This movie started off well enough, but with every scene, it just got more and more boring. I almost started gnawing off my foot in sheer exasperation.

Three Thousand Years of Longing. George Miller. 2022.

This post is part of The Tilda Swinton Project.

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