Childhood Culinary Inventions Part One: Lait frappé au Coca Cola

Lynda Barry included this delightful food recipe in It’s So Magic:

So I was thinking… did I ever invent any recipes for food-like substances as a child? And indeed I did, so I’m going to present these magnificent inventions in a short blog series.

Well, OK, I didn’t actually invent this first one: There was one fast food place in my home town that had this on the menu, but (for some reason!) it closed when I was like ten, so I had to adjust the recipe to make it at home. And I refuse to google to see whether everybody else has already invented this, because I want to live confidently with my delusions.

But here’s the incredibly complex recipe.

vanilla ice cream
Coca Cola

And here’s how to make this dish:

1) Put the ice cream into a blender.

Use as much ice cream as you want.

2) Pour the Coca Cola into the blender.

Use less Coke than you’d think you’d have to use — you don’t want this to turn into “coke with some ice cream” — this is supposed to be a thick milk shake, so you should use something like 1:3 Coke/Ice Cream, but it depends on the consistency of the ice cream. If there’s too much Coke, it’s just yucky.

Then blend until smooth.

Pour into a glass, and: There! It’s done!

Nom nom.

I seem to remember from childhood experiments that you can use other pops, too, but if they’re too sweet, it turns into something kinda nauseous. And with other pops, you have to use even less liquid.

Next week: More culinary experiences!

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